Everybody is familiar with the fear of failure. It is our satellite in different spheres of life. It is a common thing to be afraid of failing an exam or being rejected by the person you have a crush on. This fear is a primal cause of our indecisiveness. In most occasions, behind it hides other fears: fear of critics, loneliness, poverty, etc. It is not bad to avoid failure, sometimes it can be a good defense strategy. As every fear, this one can be unexpectedly harmful. It can gradually destroy the potential of your personality. Because a fear of failure paralyses people. They give up doing anything, stop making efforts to reach success. This fear is an excuse of being actionless. There is no fail if there were no action. But there is no growth too. When a person limits his powers with the fear of failure he won`t reach any achievements. It is possible to overcome this fear as any other. The fact is that it all depends on your will and desire to change yourself. Because nobody is guilty for our failures except us. My desire to change myself was overwhelming, so I followed some advice and put efforts to deal with the fear of failure. Before we proceed to the ways how to fight this harmful fear, we must dwell on the reasons why it appears.
What causes fear of failure?
- Too perfectionist for this world. For some people, not perfect result equals to failure. They are afraid not to be flawless,
- Victim of other`s ideals. The hopes and expectations of people who surround you can make a terrific pressure on a person. If you do not satisfy completely someone`s will you can consider yourself a failure. Humiliation by parents, tough critics teachers friends and colleagues can ruin the feeling that you are capable of being successful.
- The feeling of self – deficiency. After some unsuccessful attempts, a person can consider herself the one with the defect. He can feel unable to do something new because he thinks that with such personality he is destined to fail.
- Unawareness of what hides behind the success. Such people do not understand that it is impossible to achieve success without proper hard work and efforts. They feel envy to a successful individual, but they do not know what risks and troubles people face on their life path.
All these reasons have one common characteristic. They result in an effect of negative experiences that make a person think that his next attempts will lead unpleasant emotions. Now, when we have defined the reasons, we suggest looking how to overcome the fear of failure. Talking about me in particular, I was too afraid of expectations that people lay on me. The process of fear fighting is gradual. Do not hurry and do everything step by step. It is bad to be in the hurry when you try to develop your personality.
Find what generates your fear
Fear of failure is a precursor of social phobia. At the moment when fears begin to overtake your life and affect your well-being, it becomes a problem. Fears keep a person from moving forward with what they want to achieve in their lives. If a fear of failure is your enemy you must study it perfectly. Get curious about what things and situations make you fear. Remember the moments when you used to experience this fear. Pay attention to what you felt at that moment. For example, I was afraid to fail an exam because it will disappoint my parents. And their disappointment in me will make me feel useless. However, it is my own choice to feel useless or to do everything to prove that I can do better. You must admit to yourself what exact feeling are you afraid to experience. And then you can accept that you can continue living with that.
Look for an example
You are not unique with your fear. You are not alone with it. I consider that everybody will agree with the fact that nothing eases as much as the fact that there are other people who have the same troubles as yours. Sometimes we are too focused on our problems and think that we are the only people who suffer. In fact, everybody has fears. And that is good because you can find like-minded people who have the same reasons for fear of failure as yours. Moreover, it is possible to find those, how to overcome fear who have overcome it. They found a way to manage their feelings and change their life. We live in in a century of developed communications, so it is easy to find on the internet your fear-mate. It is possible that if you try his fear-fighting methods you will find a way out. Talking about my problem, it is easy to find the one who fears to fail an exam most of all. Why I was so unsure in my strength and skills? Because a teacher did not explained a material properly, so I hardly could complete a home assignment. Fortunately, I found a friend who helped me to feel more confident because he showed me the website with. Through the papers they delivered I`ve learnt more about my subject and passed an exam successfully.
Imagine the worst scenario
When we are afraid of something we visualize the consequences that can harm our feelings. Think about what’s the worst that could happen? If you’re afraid to perform on a stage, imagine yourself on it with everyone laughing at you. How will your feelings change after that? It can result in a flow of adrenaline and panic attack, but you will stay alive, aren’t you? Life goes on. It is important to imagine the worst consequences to accept that it is not the end. That you can deal with it. You can always escape a fearful situation.
Do not dramatise
Every fear has big eyes. However, many situations are simpler, than we visualise. Or even most of them. Try to change your approach to them. The life is too complicated, why must you make it even harder with your own mind? Through the prism of your perception, you can change your attitude to fear. If you put efforts to make it simpler, it will become simpler.
Let’s dwell on the sense of a failure itself. Imagine, is it possible to avoid failure always? No, it is not. Even superheroes make mistakes. They accept them, study the lesson and go ahead. It is necessary to acknowledge the failure if you want to live a remarkable life. If you avoid risking and making some mistakes constantly you will never learn your opportunities and limits. It is as inevitable as a possibility to catch a cold. It is as inevitable as if one day you will step in the puddle. You cannot predict it, but you will find a way out for sure. And the day you accept it, you will get along with your fear. Life’s a roller-coaster. You will get to the top only when you experience the hardships of the button.
Take benefit from failure
The more you fail, the more you succeed. The sense is in the way what conclusions a person makes after the failure. If you take a lesson from your mistakes and learn how not to make them in the future that you made right conclusions. Also, learn how to distinguish a constructive criticism from simple negative feedback. Try to surround yourself with people who will believe in you without a compassion. Compassion has a destructive impact on your potential. After the failure, a person must receive critics that will encourage him to do best next time. That is how a person obtains new skills – though numerous attempts. A failure is an indicator of the fact that you study and develop.